Tired..

This weight loss journey has been long and hard and I'm officially tired. Just down to the bone tired.

I had several people warn me months ago about 'burning the candle at both ends' to which I said, "Well, it's a pretty big candle." and it was, but it's not now.

The two and three a day work outs, the repeated days of eating 1000 calories while burning 1500 or more, the stressing out about every fraction of a pound, the 3 - 4 weeks of no breaks, have all taken their toll. Yes, I've pretty much stopped all of those things, but the damage is more than done.

I've lost a lot of  pounds - 55 of that since July 1st - out of the 110 I want to lose which leaves me with about 45 to go.  But 45 pounds is a lot of weight still and I no longer have those deep fat stores to burn off. Now we are getting to that deeper, more internal fat. The stuff that so genuinally wants to stay with me forever. In other words, it's gotten hard.

I can add up the positives all day long - the smaller clothes sizes, the wonderful feeling of my body moving through space, the pride in watching muscles develop all day long. I know all of those positives. But they came at a price.

Endorphins no longer roar through my body after a hard workout. Just the opposite.  I so miss those endorphins. They were like little friends that kept me company for hours.

Solution? Not sure other than to keep all the positives right in front of me and keep putting one foot in front of the other and never, ever giving up.

Thoughts to take with me today: I guess this is where the woman in me breaks out and puts on her big girl panties and just works through this shit.