Patience

Maybe some people plan out their blogs with what they are going to post. but I don't. My posts are always based on what is going on in my life right now. Very much in the moment.

I say that, because I just noticed that the title of this post is the opposite of my last one, and that is/was not planned.

However, the title is too perfect to change.

Because....

After months of practicing my headstand and being ever so patient and respectful of where my body  is, tonight, I moved it to the next step!!!

(See February 19th, 2012 for my ever continuing effort to do a head stand. Just remember, no more crashes)

YES!! It happened like this. I was in my pike and without thinking, my feet gently moved up above my head and then it hit me --- I was up, floating, non-efforting, calm, balanced. Not all the way, but to the next level, and that's incredible!

Happy dance, happy, happy, happy feet dancing around the room... 

no wait...

That's not very yogi-ish of me, is it?

Quiet, control, peace.

(but I did it, I did it, I did it! I really, really did it!)

Why am I so happy? Is it for going to the next level? Actually no. I could have done this move months ago if I were using the wall as support. In fact, by using the wall, I'd be straight up and down.  But I didn't want the wall; for me, it felt like a cheat. My whole persona lately has been wrapped up in more, more, more - muscling my way through, forcing my body to do, do, do, consequences be damned.  In this area,  I asked myself to  be truly happy to be where I was, and allow my body to gain the shoulder and core strength to take headstands one baby step at a time - that respect is what I'm happy about. 

And.....(you KNOW I'm gonna say it.) 

 Yoga = Life

Tiny improvements in strength

Little drops make big oceans

It WILL happen, if I am 

Patient

Thoughts to take with me today:  Thank you, thank you for accepting the wait as part of the journey.  Namaste.

Impatience

Losing weight is so hard - losing weight patiently and lovingly and gracefully, is several degrees harder.
In my heart of hearts, I believe that if I decided right now to gain 10 pounds, I could do it in a week, easy. No problems. So why isn't the opposite true? My body hangs onto every ounce of fat, hoarding it as a failsafe for some catastrophic famine. Really, body, it's okay. There's  just not any immediate danger of a lack of food. There was food yesterday, there is food today, trust me, there will be food tomorrow.

It makes me just want to bang my head on the most convenient wall. (Would that count as exercise?)

There is no way I'm alone in this. I read the blogs of other people and I know we all struggle with weight and the ebbs and flows of how our bodies respond to diet and exercise. It's not as simple as the self-help books say. If losing weight were easy, Oprah would weigh 125 pounds - you know she would. Whether you like her or not, her battle with weight has been public and excruciating.

So, what's a dieter to do?

One day at a time

What if I don't have the strength for that?

One pound at a time

Two weeks from now?

One workout session at a time

Pain, fatigue, soreness are all constant companions on that journey - how fun!

All of the adages are 100% true, nothing has changed there. The person that has to change is me. Keep moving, keep believing, keep trusting that the process will pay off dividends.

It's not like I have a ton of other options, because I'm not going back to the old me. It's just that the labor pains birthing the new me are hard.

Thoughts to take with me today: Hold on, just hold on

What drag it is to say...

Ooooooh, new John Meyer CD out yesterday! Of all the artists out there, he so often sings my heart, and this CD is no exception. Lovely, sweet tone where I can imagine myself sitting in a camp chair just listening to him play directly to me, and a few of my closest friends.

 Deliciousness is.

One song, Speak to Me, in particular grabbed me. I listened to it about 20 times because I was simply entranced by the lyrics.  This line in particular....

"What a drag it is to say, at least I still have yesterday"

Think about that. What if everything wonderful in our lives was in the past and we only had our memories? Nothing to look forward to, nothing to anticipate  How empty each day would be. How sad.

But that is the beauty of life, everything wonderful in our lives is not in the past. Every single morning is another chance to make a great choice, hug a friend, smile, to be in the moment. And this moment, right now, is good. It's all good.

Thoughts to take with me today: I have yesterday, but more importantly I have today.

Namaste

 

 Want to see this song performed? John Meyer "Speak to Me" live

Sunrise

I stood with a friend and watched the sun rise this morning. It climbed over the horizon huge, golden, and bright. The sky slowly filled with the absolute gloriousness of the morning and it hit me.

Every single day is a gift, a miracle, a blessing. Every single day begins clean, filled with only the deliciousness of the moment. Every single day begins with love.

If only we could hold onto those feelings from sunrise to sunset.

If only we could stay in the moment.

If only we could remember how blessed we truly are.

Thoughts to take with me today: The light and goodness in me bows to the light and goodness in you. If you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me, then there is only one of us. Namaste

A moment of weakness

Last week was teacher appreciation week and the parents in my school are beyond amazing with spoiling us teachers rotten.

With food, lots and lots of food.

Every morning we had a breakfast of bagels, muffins, fruit, sweet rolls, danishes, egg dishes, sausage, bacon, donuts, yogurt, coffee, OJ,  and other tasty foods all laid out for us. Including an ice cream social on Friday with 10 different kinds of ice cream, toppings, and oh my... did I mention they spoil us rotten?

Temptation? Oh heck yeah.

Every day there was a huge crowd in the teacher's break room choosing out what to have that morning. Plates filled with carbs, sweets, sugar filled stuff.

What's a dieter to do?

I did my best to only have a taste, a piece here and there, but it was so tempting to know that at any time there was just so much stuff there to eat. And I went back more than I wanted to, but how long has it been since I had a cheese danish?

Some days were better than others, but on the whole I ate way, WAY more calories in the last week than I'd had in a long time.

**if you are easily grossed out, skip this next paragraph**

To be honest, which if I'm not going to be, then there's not much use in writing and sharing, I was way tempted to binge and purge, give into the feeling of stuffing myself over and over. In a way, it would have been wonderful to totally lose control of everything and just eat and eat and eat.

But I didn't, and I'm glad. It's a bit embarrassing to admit a moment of weakness, but it's also real, and life is real.

In the end, what I did do was go ahead and take in the extra calories and know that I was probably shocking my body with some extra fuel. In the process, I might gain, maybe a little, probably a lot - but let's just let the body do what it's going to do.

How did my body do? I lost 2 pounds in the past week. Losing 2 pounds in a week hasn't happened in months. Weeks of a highly controlled diet results in a 3/4 pound weight loss then followed by a week filled with shockingly bad food, which yields a 2 pound loss. So, wow?

What lesson do I take from this?  Moderation is more the key than I ever imagined. A bagel with cream cheese, a muffin, a sweet roll is NOT going to sidetrack me. A small bowl of ice cream cannot stop me. Not even if I add toppings.

Maybe, just maybe ...

 

It's better for me pump in some extra calories so the body doesn't think it's being starved.

This was a lesson to show me that I need to stop worrying about every calorie.

Maybe I just need to live

Maybe :)

Thoughts to take with me today: The body is an amazing thing to watch. Love the journey, love the life, love yourself.

Just a taste

Something I learned at Yogaville...

A taste. I only need a taste. I don’t have to possess, to own, to control, to dominate, to consume everything I see. 

Three scoops of ice cream? No – a taste. A bag of potato chips? No – a taste. The total attention of a friend? No – a taste. That is all I NEED.

Now, want is a different matter. But what if my “wants” system is all jacked up?  I don’t know what I want, how much of it I want, and what will satisfy me. Always more. Always, always more.

Well, maybe here’s the answer – Just NO.   No more “MORE,” just a taste – and be satisfied, happy, contented. Since I don’t know what satisfied really looks like,  maybe, just a little will do the job. Never thought about it like that. I think it's time to try it.

How does it look? When I eat, try a bite of everything, even stuff that is ‘bad’ for me. Or in what I would consider the ‘bad’ category. Hell, have a potato chip, a wedge of cheese, a pat of butter, a smidge of a candy bar, a small scoop of ice cream – then once I’ve had a TASTE,  use some control, and physically remove myself.

When I’m with people that I love, enjoy the moment, then try not to recreate, chase  that moment again. Smile because it happened, then relax and know that good times aren't gone for good, they aren't over forever, just for now.

A taste.

It will be enough, I promise.

A taste.

Thoughts to take with me today: Less is more, a whole lot more.

Balance

There is a beautiful yoga pose called bakasana - or crow. It's a floating pose with the weight of the body poised onto the back of the arms.

Have you ever looked at a spinning top and noticed the center? No movement. While the rest of the top blurs around furiously, the center is actually still. That is the feeling that bakasana invokes.

Tiny adjustments forward, back, side to side, until only the breath flows in long, slow inhales and exhales. The world fades and there is...

Calm

Rest

Non-efforting
Balance

But yoga is not meant to happen in a vacuum, it is meant to be lived. Everything that happens on my yoga mat can be applied elsewhere.

So what does bakasana look life in life? It looks exactly the same - balanced.

Exercise is important, but it cannot take the place of meditation
Meditation and scriptures are vitual, but they do not fuel my body as a proper diet does
A proper diet gives the body energy to move, but it cannot meet my social needs
My friends make me laugh and think, but they cannot take the place of exercise

And around and around it all goes.

It's like the top - all these aspects spin and spin, but my center - my soul - is still.

What happens when one feature is out of place? When I exercise too much, forget to meditate, deny the nutritional needs of my body, or ignore my friends? Not a single thing works well, the top of my life tilts, sways,  and eventually, everything crashes down leaving me wondering where I went wrong.

Nothing went 'wrong.' It's only my true self searching for that calmness and doing whatever it takes to get my attention. My body, my brain, my heart all crave the equilibrium that balance brings. That place where the heart abides, breathing and sharing the radiant prana of life.

There...right there, no effort, just floating, poised. Indeed.

Thoughts to take with me today: Let the world blur around furiously with its striving and yearning; let me love the stillness, the calm, and yes, the balance

Yogaville

Yes, there really is a Yogaville.  It is located in Buckingham County, VA and it is an incredible place.

A place of wonderment. Yogaville.

I went there expecting to

attend yoga classes

learn about yoga

DO yoga

But that's not what happened.

I found yoga.

The classes faded to the background and it was the meditation opportunities that drew me in and held me. I've heard that praying is talking to God; meditation is listening to God.

6:00 am: I'm in a dim room lit only by candles with a soft voice in the background, deep into my own breath, open to whatever God is there to tell me. Anxiety fades away, fears melt, concerns about "What if?" "When?" "Why?"  drift to the back of my mind, slide down my back, and evaporate. Gone, just gone.

What remained?

Peace

Calm

Balance



For the first time in my life, I saw where I want to be - the place I deserve to be. No worries, no anxiety, no fretting. Living in the moment, not the past, not the future. The now.

Why do I deserve to own that peace? Not because I'm such an amazing person and because I've done amazing things. No, I deserve that place of calm because I am a child of God and heir to all of His riches. That's why.

We all are wonderful, blessed people, and we all have spirits that can open to that place of calm. Choose to embrace it, choose to believe it, choose joy and everything that comes with it.

Thoughts to take with me today: Depression is living the the past; anxiety is living the future; peace is living in the now. Choose.