Oh my what a love/hate relationship I have with food. There are times I wish that 'human kibble' existed and I could just eat so many chunks a day and be done with my nutritional requirements.
Of course, those times are interspersed with longing thoughts of the new Sweet Frog that opened within walking distance of my house. (If you have never experience Sweet Frog frozen yogurt, let me just describe it as angels in feathered slippers dancing on your tongue. 'nuff said) I spend way too much time cutting deals with myself so that I can fit another 4- 6 ounces of Sweet Frog into my daily routine. 30 more minutes on the elliptical, cutting 100 calories from lunch, walking during lunch, an extra set of reps, all to justify that cup of frozen deliciousness.
So why all the thinking and planning? I'm starting to wonder if this is the wrong approach. It has to be if I'm spending this much time thinking about it. Maybe, I should be like normal people and just go get some if and when I want it rather than spending all day building it up in my mind. Maybe my problem isn't that I'm eating the wrong foods, but have the wrong attitude towards the ones I do eat. Maybe I should just eat to live.
Of course the problem I see with that whole 'eating to live' philosophy is that I don't have enough confidence in myself to eat just a bit and I'm deeply afraid of gaining back any of the weight I've worked so hard to lose.
I just can't go there.
So I make deals to get the foods I want.
Which probably builds up food way bigger in my mind than it should be
So I fret about food.
Which definitely builds up food way bigger in my mind that it should be
So I get anxious about food
Which makes me gain weight
Time to figure out how to break the cycle and just be normal. That's going to take some thought. Maybe some Sweet Frog will help me work out that problem. Topped with strawberries and bananas.
Thoughts to take with me today: Relax and don't make food issues bigger than they already are - so easy to say; so hard to do.