Tuesday, April 3, 2012

I hope

May my mind come alive today
to the invisible geography
that invites me to new frontiers
to break the dead shell of yesterdays
to risk being disturbed and changed

May I have the courage today
to live the life I would love
to postpone my dream no longer
but do at last what I came here for
and waste my heart on fear no more

John O'Donohue


can i second a line?

....and waste my heart on fear no more...

How many times have I said, 

"When I lose weight, I will _______."
"I can't do____________, I weigh too much."
"What will people think of me if I ___________?"

No more, just no more.

I CHOOSE to be disturbed...
I CHOOSE to shake off old habits
I CHOOSE to take a chance
I CHOOSE to be who I am supposed to be
I CHOOSE to choose joy and all the good that comes with it.

And therefore....

I CHOOSE to start Yoga Teacher Training  (YTT) this fall. 

I REFUSE to put off any more experiences because I'm not thin enough, or pretty enough, or good enough, or any other descriptors I think others could think. No, just no... done with all of that.

Will I be the most flexible, the best prepared, the top of the class? I hope not. I hope I'm at the very bottom. I hope I have 20 or more people to look up to and to see where I can be one day. I hope I walk out of every class with my head spinning with all that I've been exposed to from both the instructor and the other students. Good... I hope I learn humilty along with yoga and never forget from where I came. I will be stronger in the long run for it.

Most of all....

I hope that I never, ever forget the feeling of deep awe I have right now that some mysterious line has been crossed.
I hope that when I do teach I see the possiblities in every student. 
I hope that one day I am able to give back the grace and love I've been so freely given
I hope that my spirit will continue to grow and expand and allow me to take in even more
I hope I never stop learning and never ever think "I've arrived." 

I hope......

Thoughts to take with me today: Namaste


  1. Yes, yes, YES!
    Those words - those thoughts - could have been written by me. I'm in the same place - learning how to do things NOW instead of 'someday when things are perfect, the way I imagine them to be'!
    Many years ago in Arizona, I took a yoga class with one of the few 'real' yoga instructors (yoginis?) I have ever known. She approached each class with humility, and - even though she was well ahead of all of us in her practice - she took us through each class with an attitude of 'let's try this together.' It was one of the only yoga classes I've ever attended where there were times I was so thankful and relaxed in Savasana that I was moved to tears of gratitude. I am willing to bet that you'll be that kind of teacher, and the students who work with you will be blessed. I look forward to reading about the insights you'll gain on this journey.

  2. You are a treasure! I can see why Holly spoke so very lovingly of you!

    If I could be just a fraction of that kind of teacher, I would be thankful. That is EXACTLY the kind of yogini I have now. I KNOW what it should look like. Cant' imagine I'll ever be close, but the spirit, yes, that can inspire and lead.

    Namaste my friend

  3. You sound like you are at peace with everything. I like what you said about crossing a mysterious line, stay focused on this side. You have CHOSEN and it's a great choice!
    I'd take one of your yoga classes if I lived closer!

    Have a good day my friend!
    God Bless You,
    Kara Lea

    1. Am I at peace? Im not sure, but I see a path and I'm willing to take a few more steps down it.

      You are on the same path - just try to make today a hair better than yesterday - it's all we can truly do

      Hugs to you

  4. You will be a great teacher and will be able to help many!!!

    Stay focused!!!