A whole lot has been happening in my personal life - things I've been wanting to talk about, but couldn't because I didn't have the words.
I'm going to attempt to talk about them now.
In July, the manager of the gym I belong to asked me if I would be the focus of the e-newsletter to discuss my weight loss. This is the third time I've been asked and before I've said no. This time I was encouraged by a friend to do it - with the idea that it would be helpful to others. I agreed.
The article came out, and it was well done. About 300 words or so. Picture not so great, but all good.
My gym is affiliated with our local hospital. I get an email from marketing talking about how 'inspiring' my story is and would I agree to a larger story.
One thing led to another, and the upshot is that the hospital is going to feature me in an advertising campaign at the end of the year/beginning of next year. There are still some details to learn, but there will be a shopping trip, hair/make up, professional photo shoot, , definitely some articles.
The first article came out in our local paper this week. I cannot figure out how I feel about it. For one thing, I agreed to use my starting and current weight, so that's there. FTR, starting 250, current 165. (Okay, my starting weight was 258, not sure why I shaved 8 pounds off of it)
I cycle between embarrassed, proud, ashamed, pleased, anxious, happy, and depressed.
In about 10 second intervals - 24/7
So many things to think about. When I started this blog, I did it with the idea I would be honest knowing that the people that stumbled on it would highly likely to be like minded and with little judgement towards my weight. We are all in this together here in blog-land. But the marketing plans put me in a position where people aren't as kind.
Before I took the plunge, I got advice from a couple of people I deeply trust and meditated on it a long time. All of the emotions I listed above, I expected to feel, so there are no surprises. But I didn't expect to feel all of them at the exact same time.
So, there it is. I guess I will post the article from the paper here, once I get a digital copy. Again, the picture is not great, IMO, but the words are honest, and the heart is real.
Regrets? No, not at all. Done is done, and it was the right thing to do. This is another stage of growth for me. There is something my Source wants me to learn/accomplish/experience.
Just didn't realize I would feel so....exposed. And now I have to deal with that reality.
Thoughts to take with me today: Use what you know - breathe, deeply. And trust.