Tuesday, August 21, 2012

A thought about voices

I love my sister so freaking much. No one in this whole world can cut through all the bull that is me at times to just find my core.

We were talking about my weight loss journey and she brought up how important yoga has become.  Only a sister will tell you "You aren't angry any more. You find stillness. You don't listen to the voices."

Wait.... how did she know about the voices?

What voices? The voices I think a lot of us have in our head. That voice may come from a parent, a former spouse, a teacher, a boss, an ex-friend. It's the the one that reminds us of every bad thing there is to know about ourselves. This is the voice that says....

"Why bother trying to lose weight? You'll still be fat."
"You are sorta ugly, but it's okay, you have a nice personality, sometimes"
"You will never be good enough"
"Everyone is better than you."
"You are not worthy of happiness."

This voice plays on a track that drives a deep rut into our brains until we just know every one of those damned lies is truth, then because we truly have bought into the lies, we use our own voice and start on all brand new lies, all designed to keep us unhappy. All the while letting life just pass. 

Those voices have so much power

But... yoga, yes yoga. That time when I give in and for a few precious minutes I am nothing but energy and happiness. If someone told me that rays of light shot through my fingertips as I raised them to the heavens, I'd smile and nod.  Bathing in kindness, soaking in strength, drowning in love. For me, that's what my yoga practice is.

Yoga on the regular shuts those voices down and yoga every day keeps those voices locked in some tight box at the back of the mind, covered under a dusty tarp, with random crates piled haphazardly on top.

These are qualities we all deserve.

Where is the place you go to find your still? To quiet the voices? To just be? I'll bet your place looks different from mine - maybe it's when you run and the pounding on the pavement beats the voices into silence. Maybe it's when you walk your dog late in the day and the grandeur of the evening sky takes away your breath and your head throws back as your mind explodes with the intensity in wonder of the day. Maybe it's when you hold a child and their smile blinds you with sweetness and the world stops and there is only that moment.

It doesn't matter how you get there, only that you do.

We all deserve to find our place of stillness. We are all worthy.

Thoughts to take with me today: Do not give the voices power. Give your spirit power.

1 comment:

  1. Wow, who knew a little sister could be so insightful? I thought all they were good for was tattle-tailing and stealing your "extra special" shampoo. I think it would be so hard to be an older sister, the oldest child. So many expectations, so much pressure, such a need to success...such a crushing blow when the "voices" invalidate your best work. The most important voice we will ever hear is the voice of Christ speaking through us, reminding us we are so so special, so gifted, so loved as a child of God. That "inside" voice is the one you hear LOUD AND CLEAR right now, not the other white noise in the back of your head. I am so proud of you, my hero sister. You have accomplished what so many of us only dream of and I don't mean weight loss. I mean stillness. Peace. Love and confidence in self. I love you and I am so proud of you. Your happiness makes me smile.