How to lose weight safely and 'easily'

Most TV talk shows, radio programs,  and even some Internet sites have  information about losing weight.

Saw one yesterday about losing weight WHILE eating pizza and french fries - as much as you want apparently - and still lose weight!

Color me skeptical.

But let's be real, people DO want to lose weight, get healthy, look better - all of those things - and the reason these ads/shows are out there is because it brings eyes and viewers.

There is a pretty easy way to lose weight, but it doesn't sell a lot of books or advertising time. I'm going to share what took me about 18 months to learn. Remember I'm not a registered dietician, personal trainer, nurse, doctor, or television journalist. I'm just a chick that lost 80 pounds and is willing to share my secrets.

Eat right, move more.

That's really about it.

If you need to lose 40, 50 (or in my case 90)  or more pounds, there aren't a whole lot of tricks that are sustainable over the long haul.

Eat right, move more.

How does that look in real life?  How do you get started?

Take one week and write down everything that goes in your mouth. Don't worry about a bunch of changes, just write it down.  Also, take note of how many minutes you got yourself moving.

Then go through the whole week and start tallies of your food groups on a daily basis. How many servings of dairy, protein, grains, fruits, veggies, fats. Count them up honestly, and KNOW what a serving size is. For example a bagel at Paneras/Starbucks/Dunkin Donuts is about 2 servings, not one.

After you have your totals, look at where the adjustments need to come in.

According to the USDA, this is what you are shooting for every day:

Grains - 6 - 11 servings
Protein 3 - 4
Dairy - 3
Fruits 2 - 3
Veggies 3 - 4
Fats 1 - 2

Those are your goals. DO NOT worry about calories so much as aligning with those figures. The calories will naturally drop.

Now look at your exercise. You need 30 minutes every day. Walk, climb stairs, elliptical, bike, go to a mall and just move from one end to another. It may be hard the first time. Good. That will make your successes all that much sweeter.

(If you are a diabetic and/or under a doctor's care for any reason, ignore me and do whatever he/she says. They know a helluva lot more than I do.)

That's the plan in a nutshell.

Questions I know some of you have (and I know these are real questions because I actually asked every single stinkin' one of these over the last two years)


"What about the diet plans out there - Atkins, Paleo, low-fat, etc?" I think there's a place for them, but instead of getting caught up in a complicated, involved plan, how about starting simple? Start with what is easy, and get some weeks and months behind you with disciplined eating, then if you need something extra or something that seems like it might work, then try it.

"How do I time my meals? Do I want to eat everything early in the day?  In my experience, the timing doesn't matter. I went on a cruise in October and wondered if I would gain weight because our dinner was 8:15 every night. Not only did I NOT gain weight, I lost.

"I don't like breakfast foods." Fine, eat what you want - your body does not care if you eat 4 oz of ground beef with a bun at 6 AM or 6 PM. But do eat something for breakfast. Your body needs the fuel.

"I can't live without my coffee."   Me either, so be aware of how much milk you are putting in each cup and count that in your totals. Coffee happens to be my last, lone vice. I like having a vice.  The guys at Starbucks know my name. All good :)

"I don't want to be hungry."   Make sure your grains are as complex as you can, and spread your meals out during the day. Other than that, accept there will be a little hunger until your stomach shrinks. And on some days, the hunger will be bigger than others. Eat a bit more on those days, just don't go crazy.

"I'd go on a diet but I can't live without my (candy bar, chips, french fries, pizza, burgers, soda, whatever)."  Can you live with your current weight for the rest of your life? Then do so, but otherwise, something has to go. Cut your special item back to 1/2 of what it is now and see if that is sustainable. But honestly, if your afternoon candy bar is more important than losing 50 pounds, then have the candy bar and be happy. Otherwise, choose.

"This is going to make me miserable!"  If that is your first thought, then yes, you will be miserable because you've already decided you will be. Turn that thought around and think of what you will be able to do - walk, climb stairs, play with your kids, run a 5K, buy clothes in the regular size department. I guarantee you that you will NOT be miserable doing any of those things.

"You don't understand, I will have so much loose skin." Yeah, I actually DO understand. Been there, done that, own the T Shirt. This is my approach - my skin can either be smooth and filled out with flesh, or it can sag because there is just less of me. I choose "Door B" every time.

"I'll start tomorrow, next week, next month." Sure you will.  Instead - start the next meal. Write down what you eat, inform yourself.  Remember you aren't even dieting at the beginning, you are just gathering information. You don't need a special day for that. Your body does not care what when it is.

"It's too hard to diet." Wanna know what's hard? Hard is figuring out how to get food in your body every day, not just when you are dieting. Somehow we figure out what to eat when we want to consume 3,000+ calories a day, but when asked to cut back, that seems harder.

"I don't have the willpower." Again, you are right, you don't because you've already set your intentions that you don't.  Try this. Tell yourself over and over and over, until you believe it, "I can do this, I can eat right, I can move more." After enough days of hearing that mantra, eventually it becomes part of your mind set and before long, your life has changed and you become someone with willpower.

"What about lifting weights?" I love lifting, it's fun.  But don't worry about it at the beginning. Worry about 30 minutes of movement. Get some weight off, enjoy what you are doing, then decide if putting in strength training is the next step.

"I come home too tired to work out."  Then work out in the AM.

"It's too early to work out in the morning." Then work out in the PM.

"I'm tired." Of course you are, so what difference will a little more tired make? Seriously, just do it.

That's about it for my advice. Any questions I missed, feel free to ask, I'll be happy to share my experience. Maybe you can do it better than I did with less stress and less anxiety about losing weight exactly 'right.' There are so many 'right' ways. Yours will come to you when you sent your intentions to eat right, move more.

Thoughts to take with me today: The journey begins with one step and continues with love and joy.

What's special on your plate?

One kind of cool thing about having a blog I'm finding is the more or less permanance of my thoughts. I'm 'searchable' now.

So, going back through some of my posts the other day I noticed a theme I was on for a while, but then backed away from.

In light of the upcoming holidays,  I think it's time to revisit the concept of...

                                                               MODERATION

Had an awesome conversation with someone from my gym recently about food, weight gain, holidays, and the interconnectedness of it all. She had a great point. "EAT what is special, leave the day-to-day stuff to the side." Love it!  In my case, I never ever get cranberry sauce or dressing, but oh my do I love the combination of turkey, cranberry sauce, and dressing sandwiches. I mean, just roll-in-it-good-food! My favorite.

All righty then. So with my friend's thoughts in mind, why not forgo the mashed potatoes and gravy, rolls and bread, which I'm not that crazy about any way, and double down on the stuff that makes me smile AND is a true treat.

I like this plan... a whole lot.

The upside of this is that my weight stays more in control and my diet stays balanced. I look at my plate with thankfulness instead of guilt; I eat because the food pleases me; I ENJOY the meal and the family that is at the table.

That my friends, is the way to go.

We all have special foods that evoke sweet memories; instead of denying those feelings, embrace them and feel good about creating new ones.

Just don't go crazy :)

Mad love for all you - have a splendid Thanksgiving.

Thoughts to take with me today: Look at food with kindness; let it nourish and heal.

We are all fearfully and wonderfully made

Ages ago I remarked that ordinary people say extraordinary things all the time - if you are willing to just listen.

I found that to be true again today.

Invisible Me on the blog Poonapalooza is a 'new-to-me' blog that I find utterly wonderful. She describes how she felt 'invisible' her whole life, regardless of the fact she was overweight. Yet, she could be quite vocal when she needed to advocate for someone else.

See myself in that? Sure do.

At my heaviest, I was 258 pounds and although I was able to stand up for my students, standing up for myself was out of the question.  My self-esteem was so fragile that the idea of making someone mad at me was the source of tremendous anxiety. If I made someone mad,  maybe

 they wouldn't like me any more
they wouldn't be my friend

they might leave me

Why?

Let's get real

because I didn't think I was worthy of love

That same ol' bugaboo of self worth creeps back to the surface whispering sweet words of deception of how everyone in the world is more valuable than I am. Everyone. 

Food though....oh wow....food was always there and always non-judgemental. French fries don't give a shit how fat you are, they just want you to eat them in all their yummy, crispy goodness. With catsup. And mayonnaise. And tons and tons of salt.

What we love becomes what we are. True stuff.

Because food was my best friend, I became fat

Because I was fat, it was hard to move, and I moved even less
Because I couldn't do anything but sit and eat, I hated myself

Because I hated myself just a bit more every day, I turned to my best friend

Because food was my best friend, I became fatter

That's a tough cycle to break. It can be broken though - the exact same way it was created.

Check this...

If I consistently make wise food choices, my  body becomes healthier

Because I am healthy, I enjoy running and cycling and lifting

Because I spend so much time developing my body, I value me

Because I am valuable, I love myself.

Because I love myself, I make healthy food choices

That's a cycle I can support with my whole heart.



And back to my initial thought, because I am valuable, I no longer define myself by other's opinions and all of a sudden, those advocating skills can be used to protect me.

The cycle doesn't break easily, and as I've said before, it's always hard. Every damn day. Hard.  But now, I have a taste of the 'other side' of life. Not the thin side, but the SELF-WORTH side.

Dammit....

I WAS ALWAYS VALUABLE ... ALWAYS..,.

It's just now, I see it. Most importantly, I believe it.

What about you? Do you value yourself? If not? Why not? We are all fearfully and wonderfully made. We all have a Source that leads and guides and treasures every fiber of our being. All of us.

Including you my friend.

Thoughts to take with me today: Weight is a just a number; love is a gift I give myself.  Choose the gift, every day. Namaste



Food

I didn't get to 258 pounds by having a healthy relationship with food.

Go figure

Two years ago, my typical evening meal was a cheeseburger with french fries. If I was feeling especially healthy, it would be a salad. With cheese. And bacon. Topped with high-fat dressing. And fried onion strips.

Looking back, the cheeseburger may have actually been better.

Then, I started on a weight loss journey and at the age of 49, I had to re-learn how to eat a balanced diet - no tricks, no gimmicks. Back to the basics with of the four food groups. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, two snacks.

Boring, I know. None of the 'wow' factor of so many of the fads out there.

Not satisfied with the basics, I decided to get creative. What if I pushed all of my meals into the front of the day? What about cutting calories down to 1400? and if 1400 is good, why not 1200? or 1000? or 700? Maybe just fast for a day or two? Or, decide that certain foods are okay to eat and eat only those. Then, start taking things off that list, until the number of safe foods dwindles down to 7 - and 2 of those are looking iffy.

Oh,  yeah, totally don't worry about that diabetes issue.

That whole experience didn't work out so well. The over-thinking, the constant analysis, and second guessing may have created the beginnings of an eating disorder.

Something snapped into place in the beginning of the summer. I realized I'd gone pretty far from the advice of every expert out there, and started adding back foods and calories. Slowly, incrementally, mindfully. Even though a part of my mind screamed "NO! you will gain back weight!! DON'T DO IT!" I took a leap of faith and added until now, my diet is fairly normal, and my attitude towards food healthy.

Or so I thought. Until this week.

A grown woman should not be standing in a quiet corner trying to get control of her breathing when in an unfamiliar restaurant because she is overwhelmed with too many choices.

Yep, nearly full blown anxiety/panic attack because I couldn't decide what to eat. The prevailing thought was, "What was safe?"

The 'beginnings' of an eating disorder? Really? The beginning?

Oh wow. This is hard. Hard to eat right, hard to remember the basics, hard to make good choices one after another, hard to let myself live and not let the thoughts of food take over my life.

I completely understand why people lose a lot of weight, then regain it. It's the mind games. It's the thinking that the ways that got us here were temporary, and not accepting that the entire process is a journey, not a race. Accepting that eating healthy is the new normal. Accepting that there is just no need to look at the pizza, fries, blue cheese dressing, because those things are only healthy in moderation, and if you get to 250+ pounds, moderation is not a strength.

But hard is not a reason to stop. It is, however, a HUGE reminder to respect the progress already made and to take a deep breath when things get a little tense, and let the mind relax into what it knows is right.

The basics == good stuff.

Thoughts to take with me today: The words from one of my favorite songs..."Breathe, stretch, shake, let it go."

In which the truth comes out ungracefully

Did/Said something so dumb tonight. 

Someone made a comment about eating to me - to 'be careful with my food choices - don't go crazy with the cookies." (where that thought came from I have NO idea) and I kind of looked at her and I promise you i thought for a moment 'Are you freaking nuts?  Me eat cookies??" but what I said was ....."Uh, I don't eat anything really. When I'm stressed like I am right now, my comfort food is to eat no food because I don't trust myself to eat." 

Oh crap, where do I come up with this stuff?

Is there just a huge repository in my brain where every inane thing I think lives? And why oh why can't I open that place up and let all the stupidness out all at one time and be done with it?

Is it the truth that I don't eat when I'm stressed? Sadly, yes.

When I'm under stress, eating feels like work, there is no joy in it, there is no taste in anything that goes into my mouth. Food becomes something I associate with pain and the thought of gorging on cookies is revolting. Unfortunately, the thought of eating anything isn't much better.  It's easier to not eat than to try to decide what to eat. Yes, I get hungry, but that's a good thing.

So then she's looking at me like I have sprouted horns and then asks exactly what DO I eat, in that tone that implies disapproval and I'm just sort of trying to back out of the conversation gracefully, but there IS no graceful exit then.

And I feel like I've lost emotional ground, again

Of course, this person is about 5'3" and weighs a buck ten at the most and she has simply no idea what it is like to be iin my body struggling with my weight issues. Oh sure, I bet she has her own problems, I'll give you that, but these are mine and they are important to me.

Dieting and exercise is hard, indeed, but what's harder is facing the reasons I got to where I am. I have my reasons, I know them well, I've faced them, confronted them and put them to be.  So why won't those dragons just stay slain?

Will food ever be just food?

in the meantime, is there anyway to explain to someone who has never been overweight a day in their lives why eating can be scary?  Probably not

Thoughts to take with me today:  This is a time to remember the good days. This is a time to  reflect and grow

New month, new plan

And we cycle back to the idea of food....

My exercise is pretty much under control, I have several things I do that I genuinely like and would miss if I didn't do them. Not to mention, there have been a couple of activities I've added for fun that I'm pretty happy about. But if I am honest with myself, my food is still an issue. I still don’t want to eat at night, still nervous about gaining any kind of weight from eating past three o’clock or so, still looking at food as something inherently bad.

Seems to me, the only way to do this is to face the demon head on.

So my goal this month is to eat a balanced diet of about 1700 calories or so a day, exercise, EAT dinner(!), and weigh every day so that I can prove to myself that my body will adjust and thrive this way.

I’m setting my intention that I can do this, and that I will be successful at getting over the last big hurdle of health – the ability to live my life not afraid of food and what it can do to me, but rather accepting that food has to be part of my life and I need to make peace with it.

That’s my goal - to be normal, or at least as close to normal as I can be.

I'm going out on a limb here  - the limb of trust that my trainer has been trying to beat into my head for months. I can eat and not be afraid. It's a big deal.

30 days...I'll keep track for 30 days and see how it goes.

Thoughts to take with me today: Food is not a friend or an enemy; food is fuel for everything the body is asked to do. Accept that.

Eating to live or living to eat?

Food

Oh my what a love/hate relationship I have with food. There are times I wish that 'human kibble' existed and I could just eat so many chunks a day and be done with my nutritional requirements.

Of course, those times are interspersed with longing thoughts of the new Sweet Frog that opened within walking distance of my house. (If you have never experience Sweet Frog frozen yogurt, let me just describe it as angels in feathered slippers dancing on your tongue. 'nuff said) I spend way too much time cutting deals with myself so that I can fit another 4- 6 ounces of Sweet Frog into my daily routine.  30 more minutes on the elliptical, cutting 100 calories from lunch, walking during lunch, an extra set of reps, all to justify that cup of frozen deliciousness.

So why all the thinking and planning? I'm starting to wonder if this is the wrong approach. It has to be if I'm spending this much time thinking about it. Maybe, I should be like normal people and just go get some if and when I want it rather than spending all day building it up in my mind. Maybe my problem isn't that I'm eating the wrong foods, but have the wrong attitude towards the ones I do eat. Maybe I should just eat to live.

Of course the problem I see with that whole 'eating to live' philosophy is that I don't have enough confidence in myself to eat just a bit and I'm deeply afraid of gaining back any of the weight I've worked so hard to lose.

I just can't go there.

So I make deals to get the foods I want.

Which probably builds up food way bigger in my mind than it should be

So I fret about food.

Which definitely builds up food way bigger in my mind that it should be

So I get anxious about food

Which makes me gain weight

Nice cycle

Time to figure out how to break the cycle and just be normal. That's going to take some thought. Maybe some Sweet Frog will help me work out that problem. Topped with strawberries and bananas.

Thoughts to take with me today: Relax and don't make food issues bigger than they already are - so easy to say; so hard to do.